Hi all,
I am at a very difficult stage in life right now. All I need are prayers, love, and support. Let me know when I cross your mind, or let me know that you love me. These simple gestures really mean a lot to me, especially in this time in my life.
Always,
Kaitlyn
Me And My Sister!
I went back to the LPCH hospital on April 23rd. I was given another IV because I was severely dehydrated again. No surprise there. Then they transferred me over to another hospital called El Camino Hospital. Stanford rents out two units over there. One of which is called Comprehensive Care Program (CCP).
They put me in this unit which is for teens with eating disorders. I have to say I was very skeptical at first, and well…kind of pissed off they put me there. But I really think it helped me a little bit. At first, The nurses were all being very pushy telling me to drink more and didn’t understand gastric bypass surgery in the least. I got very frustrated and tired of telling each nurse everything they needed to know to take care of me.
I was there until May 2nd, when I was just starting to make progress with some pureed food and working with a counselor and Occupational Therapist to work through the pain. My insurance decided that I didn’t need “rehab” and wouldn’t answer the doctors calls. Three of my doctors and my surgeon were willing to have a conference call with the health insurance and they still did not answer the calls. I still have several doctors that want me to go back to CCP and they are still fighting with the insurance.
My insurace (Healthy Families/ HealthNet) has told my doctors that “Letting me go to Stanford and have surgery was a slip up in their paperwork.” And they no longer want to cover followup visits. Well guess what people, I HAVE to go back to Stanford now, whether you like it or not! So it looks like we’re in for another insurance fight.
As of right now, I’ve been in Chico for the past week and am going to stay for another week. I had an appointment at Stanford on the 20th but it was changed to the 27th because the adult surgeon, Dr. Morton won’t be there on the 20th. (who I have to see now, also because the pediactric surgeons don’t know what the hell to do with me). I think being in Chico has been really good for me. My sister, Angie is helping me a lot. She keeps me going.
After I got home from the hospital, (yes, I admit it) I gave up. Everything. All I was doing was sleeping all day, occasionally taking a walk. I stopped taking all my medication cold turkey and was drinking maybe 3 oz a day and half of a nutritional drink, which is about 100 calories. I’m doing a lot better than I was. I’m drinking 3-4 nutritional drinks per day and drinking 30-50 ounces a day. And with a lot of pushing from Angie I’m cautiously trying to eat a few foods. Honestly though, the smell of food makes me nauseious.
On top of all of this, Dr. Morton saw me on May 6th. He said if my pain and burning in my stomach had not gone away by the 20th (now the 27th) he wants to do an exploratory surgery and go into my closed off stomach and intestines.
Oh, and just for the icing on the cake, I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life and put my baby girl, Daisy, to sleep on May 9th. She was 8 years old and had a bone tumor in her shoulder that was causing her a lot of pain. I love you baby and I miss you…
Daisy December 16th, 2000 – May 9th, 2009
One of the pictures Angie took of me out at Chico State. 
I am SO frustrated with health insurances right now. I have been in a lot of unexplainable pain lately and really need to see my OB/GYN, Dr. Garrison who is in Willows, CA. Well, I can’t because he’s not in Sacramento County! So, my mom calls the insurance and they said it could take about 15 days to even get it approved to see him.
In the mean time, my mom made an appointment to see a 70+ year old man who is an OB/GYN in Sacramento. Umm, no… I don’t think so.
So, right now my choices are either to wait to see Dr. Garrison and be in pain, or see some old guy who I don’t even know who will probably have to examine me. I’m leaning more towards the choice of just being in pain.
My mom made the appointment for Friday at 2:30 pm, which just so happens to be the same day Di was going to pick me up for the weekend. Great. Just great!
More Later,
Kaitlyn
So much has been happening lately. Let’s see if I can even list it all…
1. My dog, Daisy, who is now just past eight years old, has a bone tumor in her shoulder and probably only has about one more month, if that, to live.
2. I will most likely be having another D&C this next week. I have an IUD in, but it’s stopped helping and I am in a lot of pain.
3. My gastric bypass surgery is most likely going to happen in March, but we’ll see how the new insurance goes.
4. The new insurance starts this month!
Since I haven’t been feeling too hot, I haven’t been getting much schoolwork done. I NEED to get back to a somewhat normal schedule. I have had a very hard time sleeping, even after taking two Tylenol w/codeine, which normally knock me out.
Well, I’m off to bed…hopefully to get some sleep!
Like the new header?
Always,
Kaitlyn
What time did you get up this morning?
Umm. Four AM. Then I took more pain meds and went back to bed until about 11.
Who was your last text from?
Diane
Anything you would change about your life right now?
Nothing. Everything happens for a reason.
Do you mind sleeping on the floor?
Yes, I hate it!
Are you mad at anyone?
Not anymore.
Are you talkative?
Only with certain people. 
Do you have a best friend?
Yes, a few.
Do you care what people think about you?
I try not to. Sometimes I let it get the best of me.
Are you ticklish?
Very.
What do you always take with you when you go out?
My phone, and a puppy
When was the last time you saw snow?
About a month ago. My dad sent me a picture from his house in WA.
How long is your hair?
Shoulder length.
What color are your eyes?
Brown.
Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottles?
Not usually.
Ever liked someone that you didn’t think you stood a chance with?
Completely.
How do you feel about abortions?
Don’t EVEN get me started. I hate them.
Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
I have.
Did you hug or kiss anyone in the last 74 hours?
Hugged.
Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
Nope. That would be awkward.
Do you want to see somebody right now?
Yesss. Very much so.
Do you honestly believe that good things come to those who wait?
Not at the moment. Ask me in a few months.
What catches your eye more? Eyes or smile?
Smile first, then eyes.
Are you starting to realize anything?
Ha. That’s a very broad question. Yes, I am realizing many things.
What are you listening to?
Nothing at the moment.
Are you seeing the person you like this weekend?
Nope.
Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn’t?
Probably.
What was your dream about last night?
I didn’t dream.
Do you have a reason to smile right now?
Not at the moment.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Nope.
Do you fall for people easily?
I don’t think so.
Who have you texted in the last 24 hours?
Brandon, Diane, Mom, Lindsey.
In the past week have you smiled?
A few times.
Last week…now that’s a whole different story!
Are you listening to music right now?
Negative.
What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Ow. Why can’t I freaking move without hurting?!?
Are you afraid of rollercoasters?
Sort of. I’d be willing to give it a try again.
Are you keeping a secret right now?
Lots of them.
Do you think you can last for an hour without talking?
I do it all the time.
Do you like getting hugs from other people?
If I know them, yes!
What’s the weather like outside?
Kind of cold, but sunny.
What was the last thing you drank?
7-Up
Do you know anyone else with your name?
A few.
Are you tired right now?
No, just feeling like crap.
When was the last time you really laughed?
Hmm, that would be last Saturday night/Sunday morning with Diane.
Who was the last person you had an argument with?
Probably my mom.
Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
Yes.
How important is trust?
The MOST important thing. If you can’t trust someone… don’t even get me started.
If your friends warn you about someone, do you listen?
Yes.
Do you think you’ve changed over the last year?
I think so. You tell me!
I just had an amazing week. It has been awhile since I’ve had one of those! Stayed with Diane and Mom for a little over a week. It was so nice. Thank you Di and Mom! I can’t wait to have another crazy night with you Di. And I can’t believe I never even thought about getting a picture! Oh well.
I found this poem on my computer, I wrote it a little after I moved. I thought I should post something interesting. Pray for me as I try to keep my head above water.
Here’s my poem
Homesick
Thought I was doing ok
The pain was slowly going away
But I was just lying to myself
Distracting myself
Put that fake smile on
For everyone to see.
As soon as I’ve got nothing to do
I start thinking about you
What could’ve been
What should’ve been.
The pain comes back like an open wound
Ripped open by the sound of your voice
I miss your hugs
Your support.
You helped me up when I was down,
Now I’ve got to help myself
But I just keep going farther down
Sinking into that dark black pit.
You tell me to get up
To be happy
But I cannot find it in me
I want to be happy
For you
But
The pain gets worse
By the sound of your voice.
I’m so homesick…
Okay, tell me what you think. I know it’s not that great, but I just write what I’m feeling.
More Later,
<3 Kait
Okay, is it just me or does anyone else have those days when everything gets on your nerves? Well, I have been having one of those months.
Every little thing a certain person does just bugs the CRAP out of me. I can’t help it. I hate this feeling! Someone make it go away!!!
Going to Stanford this Friday. Very, VERY small chance that I might get a surgery date or maybe month. Cross your fingers.
I’m going to Chico for the weekend for Kathleen’s birthday. I might ( I hope) be staying for the whole week, but we’ll see. I really just need out of here. That’s been my motivation for getting schoolwork done. I guess whatever works, right?
That’s all for now.
~Kaitlyn
Until I turn 18! I know it seems silly to start counting now, but I seriously can NOT wait!
Okay, back to reality! I haven’t been blogging as much lately, no excuses, just haven’t. So, here are the pictures of Guido I said I would post.
Todd was feeling left out…so here’s a recent picture of him!
No news about insurance, or doctors. My heart doctor put me on a blood pressure medication, and within one week, it went from 156/127 to 120/90! Major improvement! We found that out today, when I went to donate blood at a Bloodsource van outside our church today. I have to admit, I was kind of scared, but saving two lives was totally worth it! Now the muscle in my arm is super sore, but again, worth it!
Hopefully we’ll set up our Christmas tree tonight. My mom and stepdad have been shopping all day, so I’m not sure when they’ll be back! They said something about buying a fake tree (UGH) but, fake or not, it still makes the house Christmasy!
I’m so excited for Christmas! My 17th birthday is December 16th, and December 19th we’re going to Chico, and I’m going to stay with Brandon and Angie until Christmas day!
Merry CHRISTmas!!!
Whew! This is the first time I have had a chance to breathe since last Wednesday! We left early Thursday morning for the 4 hour drive to Monterey/Carmel. Had Thanksgiving with the step-family, played games, etc.
Then we got up early to go shopping in Downtown Carmel, which was extremely crowded, but fun all the same. Everything is so expensive though! Saturday morning, we went to the Monterey Bay Aquarium which was amazing! I had never been there and it was a facinating experience.
After that, we went to meet Guido’s new parents! He was so excited to see me he jumped all over the place. Emmy and Hans were so nice, they were so grateful for Guido and it was great to see them and Guido so happy! Emmy said they would bring Guido to come visit me when I have my surgery at Stanford He’s a registered service dog, so he can go anywhere.
I still have to upload the pictures, so I will post them in a different post.
Comment away!
Sorry to all who are reading my blog. I am very overwhelmed with life at the moment. I will update you soon, but probably not until I get back from Carmel. Next Sunday or Monday would be a good posibility.
